"The Man in the Mirror", Alex

[McMackey]

Hi, this is a new fanfic. The title is a song by Michael Jackson. This fanfic has nothing to do with the George/Izzie/Alex fics I also write.

Alex Karev awoken from a night of heavy slumber. He drifted lazily into the bathroom and washed his face. He shaved and then left the bathroom. Alex ran straight into Izzie Stevens. She looked up, her peroxide blonde hair lining her face. "Hey, Alex."

Alex scratched the back of his neck. "Hey, Stevens."

"What's wrong with you?" asked Izzie.

Alex shook his head. He actually didn't know what was wrong with himself. He just woke up feeling like crap and stayed like that. Alex hadn't even looked at himself in the mirror. For whatever reason, he was ashamed to.

Izzie opened the bathroom door and stood in the doorway. "I know you're lying, but I don't have time to deal with it right now."

Izzie closed the bathroom door. Alex heard water run. He walked down the hallway at an accelerated pace. He finally looked at himself in the hall mirror. He didn't like what he saw, so he punched the mirror. It fell off the wall and broke at his feet. Alex knew that his fist was bleeding, but what was the point of fixing it? He didn't know what was wrong with him. It was just something he couldn't figure out. He just...didn't like what he had seen.

Alex dropped to his knees, careful to avoid the pieces of broken glass and wood littering the floor. A tear fell from his eye. He didn't wipe it, and it fell to the floor, stuck there with glass, wood, and Alex's humility.

How'd you like it? The real Alex usually doesn't show that much emotion, so that's why I made him so emotional in this fic . Anyone like it alot? Leave your comments please.

[izziestevenskarev]

Hmm.. well I'm a HUGE HUGE Alex and Izzie fan (I love Alex). So this fic caught my attention. It's nice to see something a little more centered on ALex. I like your start. I'm looking forward to see where this is going, and what exactly is wrong with Alex. Hopefully Izzie can help him, I think he needs something good right now after everything that has been going on with the show. Hopefully you'll update soon

[McMackey]

Note From the Writer: Please note that this fanfic is based in season four, before Alex and Izzie started dating.

Izzie had heard the crash, and she came running out of the bathroom wrapped in a white towel. Alex put up a hand to stop her from cutting herself on the glass. Izzie went around the glass and kneeled down beside Alex. Part of the towel covered his bleeding fist as she held it.

Alex wouldn't budge, so Izzie returned to the bathroom for some bandaging. She came back into the hallway with it and wrapped it around Alex's fist. He started rocking back and forth, the back of his head hitting the wall every other rock. Izzie held him still. Alex still wouldn't budge from that place, so Izzie sat down beside him.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" asked Izzie.

"I hate myself," Alex stated shortly. He tried to start rocking again, but Izzie kept him still.

Izzie was near tears seeing Alex so...emotional. She took in a deep breath and then let it out. She looked up at the ceiling, still keeping Alex from rocking. "Why do you hate yourself?"

"Because I'm an a-shole and I hate it," said Alex. He didn't try to rock this time. He looked up at Izzie's face, his own face wet and red with sadness.

Instead of just holding Alex still, Izzie hugged him and got closer. "I can help you. Emotion is the first step, Alex. You're already halfway there."

Alex would have tried to smile, if he wasn't surrounded with glass, wood, tears, and blood. The only thing to smile about was Izzie. She was it. She could cure him. Izzie could show him how to be better.

[izziestevenskarev]

aw love this !! you should make the next update a bit longer! i'm really getting into this story!!

[McMackey]

The cordless phone rang, and Izzie answered it, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Stevens, where the h-ll are you and Karev?" asked Miranda Bailey's voice harshly.

Alex still sat in Izzie's arms. He looked up at her. Izzie sighed, frustrated. "Bailey, I'm sorry, but neither of us can come in today."

"And why not?"

"Um, personal reasons," said Izzie, thinking fast.

Miranda scoffed. She didn't believe it. "Stevens, if there's really something wrong, you need to tell me."

Izzie looked down at Alex and mouthed 'can I tell Bailey'. Alex shook his head. Izzie sighed softly.

"Stevens? Did you hear me?" asked Miranda impatiently.

"Yes, I heard you, but I can't tell you. There's just...something going on. Not anything bad or in need of medical attention. So, please, Bailey," explained Izzie.

Izzie heard Bailey sigh from the other end of the phone. "Fine. I'll make up something to tell the chief."

"Thank you, Bailey. You--" started Izzie.

But Bailey interupted her. "Yeah, yeah. Just be here tomorrow, Stevens. Both of you."

"Okay. I promise we'll be there," said Izzie. She hung up the phone and looked back down at Alex. He looked back at her. She smiled. He didn't.

After a few moments of silence, Alex cleared his throat. "Thank you."

"You're no trouble to me," said Izzie. "I'll help you change."

Alex looked up at Izzie again. Before, he had just been looking at the polished hardwood floors. Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He lifted himself up a little bit so that his face was merely an inch away from Izzie's.

"Alex--" started Izzie, but she couldn't say anything else, because Alex closed the gap between them. A fresh tear fell from his eye and ran down Izzie's face. They both felt it: the tears and the beating of their hearts.

[izziestevenskarev]

pretty good update! will you be updating again tonight?

[McMackey]

Alex Karev walked into Doctor Wyatt's office. Wyatt sat at her desk. She looked up as Alex entered.

"Doctor Karev, you had an appointment," said Wyatt softly. Even though it wasn't a question, Alex nodded and sat down. He didn't start talking yet, because someone else was coming. Wyatt asked, "Is Doctor Stevens coming or not?"

Alex nodded. Doctor Wyatt didn't normally let anyone else interlude in her private sessions, but, since Alex trusted no one but Izzie, Wyatt let it slip.

Izzie entered Wyatt's office and sat down beside Alex.

"Welcome, Doctor Stevens. So, Alex, why do you feel like you need to change?" started Wyatt.

"Well, everything with Rebecca and Olivia just really took its toll on me," explained Alex. "I was stupid for letting Rebecca have me. I was stupid for sleeping with Olivia. In both processes, I hurt people I cared about. Addison with Rebecca, and Izzie with Olivia. I just keep hurting people, and I think I don't mean it. I don't want to mean it, but I do. I'm an a-shole."

"How would you like to change?" asked Wyatt.

Alex thought for a second. "I'm gonna be a one-woman man. Izzie's helping me through it. I can't stand to hurt anyone anymore. You never realize how much of a jerk you are, and then, you wake up and look in the mirror, and suddenly you see it. I saw the bast-rd in the mirror, and I hated him, so I smashed him."

Alex looked down at his bandaged right hand. He hadn't been able to perform surgeries in two weeks, working in the clinic and updating patients on their conditions. He felt like an intern again.

"Did smashing the mirror help?" asked Wyatt as softly as she could.

Izzie watched Alex's chest rise and fall once with an angry sigh. Alex made a face. "No, it didn't help at all. It only got me no surgeries for a month."

The Alex Izzie used to know would have laughed, but this was a different Alex. The Alex between the a-shole and the new version. He was healing. Izzie saw that Alex was uncomfortable, so she scooted closer to him and grabbed his hand. She pressed it against her own chest. Alex looked at her, and, just in his eyes, just for a second, Izzie saw a sign of happiness.

[LexzieLove17]

i really like this, im excited to read more

[McMackey]

Alex Karev and Izzie Stevens sat on the sofa in their living room. They just sat there and held hands. Every once in a while, they would look over at each other.

"You haven't smiled in the longest time," started Izzie quietly. "You really should smile. You're changing, so be happy already."

Alex showed Izzie a fake smile. Izzie sighed angrily, let go of Alex's hand, and stood up. "You have got to be kidding me! It's been almost a month since you broke that mirror and started changing! It should make you smile that you're not the old Alex anymore! Actually, I prefer the old Alex to this new one, because HE smiled!"

Alex stared blankly at Izzie, his mouth hanging open slightly. Izzie stared back, but with a look of frustration rather than disbelief. Eventually, Alex looked away and then stood up. Izzie turned to let him leave the room, but he kept her in her place. He pressed his chest up against her shoulder. Izzie felt his breath on the side of her neck, and looked at him. Alex tipped Izzie's chin upward and laid a kiss on her lips. It was a short kiss, but still good for the both of them.

When it was over, Izzie exhaled. She smiled at Alex. Finally, he smiled back at her. It was an actual, real smile this time. Izzie felt her eyes tear up, and wrapped her arms around Alex's neck. She kissed him this time. Alex went to kiss Izzie one last time, but Meredith Grey walked into the living room.

'Woah. Sorry," apologized Meredith. "I wasn't aware I'd be interrupting something."

"It's fine, Mer," started Alex. "We were just--"

"I know what you were 'just'," said Meredith. She left the room, and Alex and Izzie heard her walk up the stairs to her bedroom.

Both Izzie and Alex laughed.

"I must admit, it feels so good to hear you laugh again," stated Izzie.

"Thanks. I almost forgot how to laugh for a minute," commented Alex.

"Listen to me," Izzie began. "I don't ever want you to look down on yourself again. Stay like this. Like you are right now. If you do, I'll love you forever."

"You love me?" asked Alex.

"I don't think I was supposed to say that out loud," Izzie voiced.

Alex laughed again. "I don't love you, but I do love your smile."

Izzie smiled. Now Alex was happy again. He was healed. He could smile. He could laugh. And Izzie was with him. It was perfection.

^Last one^ (Sorry, but this has to be the last one, because Alex is completely good. I'll start a new one soon. Love you my grand audience!)

[izziestevenskarev]

aw mann its over ;( .. it was very good!

[McMackey]

I planned on ending this, but, since you like it so much, I'll add another part of it tomorrow.

[izziestevenskarev]

aw well thank you!! im excited, maybe alex will finally realize he loves izzie too!?

[McMackey]

Thnx for liking it! Alex and Izzie will go through a lot more in the next few updates! Hold your pants on til tomorrow! Breathe. Hee hoo Hee hoo

[tylerchick2009]

Ok brother. I have to say, you are an AWESOME writer!

[McMackey]

Sorry I didn't post it yesterday. I was sick and people were over at my house. If you like this, check out "Decode" (Grey's Anatomy:Vampire Edition). I'll be posting it tonite instead of tomorrow.